Don’t judge the slacker mom
~ by Jenny G. Perry
In our society with the era of social media, we are all well aware of what the other moms do. Or are we? We see them post their vacations, their crafts, their kid winning the trophy. But they never share the lows. I used to be a mom who tried be everything, that “perfect” mom, and I would fail. There was always someone better. As I launched a career as a life coach, writer, blogger, and speaker…plus the fact that I have five kids, I became a slacker mom.
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Don’t judge me or the other slacker moms. It doesn’t mean we don’t feed our kids, love them to the moon and back, and show up to their events. I don’t go to everything anymore. Back to school night, yes. But many things, I don’t. When I look back, the reason I often went to things was so the parents, teachers, coaches, etc. would think I was a good mom. Often, my kids would not care either way. They would rather me spend the time with them anyway.
I show my kids that I forget things, make mistakes, sometimes don’t know what to do and I forgive myself if needed and move on. I love myself enough to do that. Will they really think I’m a slacker mom? Probably not. What is the most important thing for them to think is that I love them unconditionally and that I think they are a cool human being. Each one is unique and precious.
I think of the book The 5 Love Languages by Gary D. Chapman. He explains that we all love in our own way. You can’t expect everyone to love you like you love them. So people do it by acts, others by words, and I think we can be a combo too. Physical touch is so important to me. I have probably said “I love you” and kissed my kids when they were babies about a gazillion times. I still cherish my snuggles with my almost nine and nearly six year old boys. My teens don’ want to hug me anymore if they can help it. My two year old gets a trillion hugs and love words and smiles that even twinkle my eyes daily. I love big. I love my way. I’m okay with someone thinking I’m a slacker mom because my boys don’t always look like ads for a clothing store. They don’t care. I don’t judge moms by their kids’ fashions.
Also, before we judge any mom we should listen to her story. We have no idea what she struggles with, what goes on with her kids’ behavior at home, or even her background. May she is doing the best she can. Maybe she isn’t even a slacker mom if we see all that she does do…that maybe she doesn’t shout from the rooftops. Let’s stop secretly judging the moms. If she looks like she hasn’t showered, maybe there is a story behind it that would make you want to give her a hug and a kind word. Be nice to the other moms. Momming as a verb is hard, whether you’re slacker mom or crafty queen. Giving out a big high five to all the moms. You rock!
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Jenny G. Perry is the author of the #1 Bestselling book Sexpot With Stretch Marks and novel The Jennifers. She is a Mojo expert whose body-mind-spirit wellness is focused on self-love whole life coaching. She is Queen of reinvention and can help you change your life as a catalyst with her own unique healing energy. Her intuitive hits astound her clients as she helps them navigate their new journeys into the new expanded, best version of themselves.
She is also the spunky married mother of five beautiful kids who has a passion for life that she infuses in her work. She happily resides at the Jersey Shore and loves to blog about her life’s journey in a fun and spiritual way. Tons of pictures, lots of style, and massive appreciation for life is her whole vibe. You can connect with her on Facebook and Twitter.