I proceeded to not drink and not die for the ensuing 25 years. What a ride. Could never have predicted this scenario I currently live and play in. Seriously. I was young with two small kids and knew nothing. Now I’m a mother of three gorgeous girls AND a grandmother to two kids that are exactly the same age my two oldest girls were when I started this awakened journey 25 years ago. My youngest daughter who is in her senior year at college has never seen me drink, and god willin’ and the crick’ don’ rise, she never will.
But I don’t assume that I will never drink again. I stay pretty vigilant and actively participate in my recovery with the understanding that I really only have today, and that I know even less than I thought I did!
The news of Robin Williams‘ sudden and unexpected (at least by me) departure from the planet hit me hard. I’ve known too many people — beautiful, amazing people — who have lost their battle with alcoholism, addiction and the depression it flogs many of us with. I didn’t know him personally, but in many ways I knew him very well. I knew intimately that feeling that I just couldn’t move forward, that I couldn’t stand what I perceived was ahead on the path for me. Those moments when I forgot about the power of my connection to spirit (God, whatever you wish to call it), and how I have never, EVER, EVER been left alone to suffer as I, in those moments, imagined it would all go down. It was a suicidal tendency that brought me to my knees to beg for help from a God I didn’t know or believe in. I’m not sure why I heard and felt the answer, which was to continue to trudge this happy road of destiny*, but it has been a long strange and gorgeous trip so far.
Listen to this lively and inspiring GVK podcast where Kristin and I get to speak with Indie Spiritualist, Chris Grosso. It’s relevant . . .
If you are reading this and you think you are hopeless or worthless, think again. If I could do it, anyone could. Just don’t give up. Don’t choose a permanent solution to a temporary state of mind. Reach out. Somehow. You are not alone.
If you are suicidal, call the Suicide Lifeline NOW! Don’t wait.
If you think you have a problem with alcohol, please check out Alcoholics Anonymous. It works. Trust me on this.
If you think you have a problem with drugs, please check out Narcotics Anonymous.
If you have a family member or a friend with an alcohol problem, please check out Al-anon.
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