Valentine’d Day is not my favorite holiday. But its not going away, so why not embrace it. When asked about Valentine’s Day, a good Quaker would say, “Every day should be like Valentine’s Day.”  I actually believe that and wish we all lived in the spirit of letting everyone know just how much we love them as part of our daily practice. Oh and don’t forget to add how to best love ourselves.  Having said that, we all get caught up in our everyday lives and I guess I am thankful that we have this reminder. Afterall I do have fond memories from when I was a little girl of my Dad buying me flowers like he did for my Mom, which made me feel very special.  And I’ll always fondly remember getting those Victorian looking 3D cards from my Grandmother that always smelled like her.

So what do you do when you don’t have an adoring Valentine? You get to be your own Valentine.  When doing things for yourself, pick things that are healthy and develop a positive mantra to overshadow any of that inner dialogue of feeling sorry for yourself. The good feeling of choosing healthy “treats” will last longer and help you extend those good feelings throughout the year.  Here are a few low cost, low impact, nurturing suggestions to help you make that heartfelt shift.

1. Go see that movie that you’ve always wanted to see and embrace that you get a good seat because you are on your own. Don’t “treat” yourself with a bunch of garbage to eat, “treat” yourself with some un-buttered popcorn and a juice instead of a soda and pat yourself on the back for taking good care of yourself.  I often sneak in some edamame to munch on instead of popcorn.  It gives me my salt fix in a healthier way.

1. Get together with a friend you haven’t seen in a long time. There’s nothing like catching up with a really close friend that loves you in spite of any flaws.
2. Get a massage and treat yourself with some true stress releasing.  We all need human touch, even if you don’t know the person. Massage therapists have usually chosen that vocation because they have a kind touch. After a long stretch of being single I’ve been known to schedule regular massages to get some human touch in my life. It made me more relaxed in everything else I did during those times.
3. Find a scrumptious book and get lost in another world.  It can be so rejuvenating to take a break from life and immerse yourself in another world. Like a little vacation for the mind. Give yourself permission to take the time and remind yourself that taking that kind of time is valuable to your good health.
4. Take a bath in candle light. Pick some relaxing music, place candles around the bathroom. Add some great smelling oil to your bath water, turn the phone off and lie back and relax. Keep your negative thoughts at bay and remind yourself of all things you love about yourself.
5. Refresh your environment and bring new energy to your home and outlook.  Pick a room that you like to spend time in and de-clutter and freshen it up.  Look around and take everything out that doesn’t bring you joy.  Donate, recycle or give away what you don’t need.  Turn on some great music and clean every corner of the room. Wipe out the cobwebs of the room and your mind at the same time.  Freshen up the space with a newly covered pillow or some fresh flowers.  Heck, you might even be inspired to buy some VOC paint and brighten it up with a little color. Thank yourself for taking such good care of yourself.
6. Take a walk in nature and reconnect with your quiet self and good ole Mother Earth. I can’t explain it but I ALWAYS feel better when I’ve taken a walk on the beach or in the woods etc.
7. Being grateful for the good things in your life can be a great “treat” for you. Gratitude nourishes the soul. Developing a ritual for yourself that takes inventory of all the things you are grateful for can be the gift to yourself that will keep on giving.  The more I humbly notice my abundance, the more blessed I realize I am.
8. Best “treat” of all is giving OF yourself.  Visit your older relatives and friends especially those who have lost a spouse.  There is nothing more rewarding than warming the heart of older loved ones who miss their spouse.  I care for a nearly 90 year old woman who lost her husband of 60 years, just 3 years ago. She puts on a good front but I feel her loss.  It reminds me of the Paul Simon song Graceland where he sings”…loosing love is like a window in your heart, everybody sees you’re blown apart, everybody feels the wind blow…”  I’ll never know the loss of a man I’ve made a life with and adored for 60 years.

Whether you are giving to yourself or of yourself, the theme is LOVE. Find little things to do for yourself or others all year long and make everyday Valentines Day.